Over the last week we have all experienced a lot in this world, for my family it was the Alpha and Omega. The Universe has really opened itself up to me or maybe I have awakened to it more, that one I am still trying to figure out. Our Family Welcomed a baby boy to the world on 8/18/15.My nephew, Wesley was born at 7:13am and was 7lbs 14 ounces of wonder and joy. This 21inch being has no idea what he has brought with him! My husband and I went to meet him with my niece. As she was introduced to her new brother we all paid close attention to the new dynamic in our family. So excited for something new!
The next day as I returned to work, eager to show pictures and receive the abundance of congratulations of my new nephew, something else was happening in the background of our lives. I received a call from my husband that my father in law was unresponsive and they were taking him to the hospital via ambulance. That quickly,life changed again.
As I quickly raced 20 minutes to the hospital where my husband was waiting with his mother, I text my boss again telling her we have another family emergency. Before I could turn into the hospital I received another call that he had passed from my husband who was doing everything he can to not break down and be strong for his mother. We left with his watch and only memories that day, walking out of the hospital was something we did a lot with my father in law.
Serious heart problems led him to many visits which we joked with him that he was using it as a vacation. This man worked, until the very last day on oxygen 24hours he continued looking for opportunities to work and help others. As a Chef his whole life, he continued to give back to the local chapter of the Chef’s Associations. Helping children learn through the art of cooking and feeding masses of College Students his passion is still flowing through every soul he touched through his love of the Culinary Arts.
I spent the whole week watching my brother in law try to figure out the finances for my mother in law, my sister in law helping with medications and trips to the bank. My Husband there for moral support with his mother and the rest of the extended family. Family and friends reaching out with gifts of food, love and support in so many ways. I struggled to figure out where my place was right now. Do I stand back and just be there? Is it selfish for me to worry about what I should be doing? But, where did they need me? Everyone just started doing things and I had no idea so I did just that, stood there, watching. Things started really slowing down for me while other things were just moving too fast.
Once I was able to remember to breathe and all of the tools I have been blessed to receive over the last year through my meditation practices I realized what I could do, what I am best at. Organizing people and putting them together to receive each other ! When the memorial conversation started flowing I asked if I could offer myself to put things together and things started working for me. This is how I handle death, by talking about it, writing about it, standing up in front of others to help them talk about it. Most people can’t, refuse or just do not want to understand this part of me but it has always been there. I have stood up at many funerals, memorials and other opportunities to remember and speak about the people that have touched our lives. So it came, the music, the memories and the opportunity to remember my father in law in the way he should, with love laughter and passion!
In the days following, I continued to explore my interests while on vacation. We met David Ji who we have been reading and studying over the last two years of meditation practice. I stepped up in the essential oil craze again, now realizing exactly how it can really work for myself and others. I will be writing more about these experiences later. Life moves on, we are all gods and goddesses in this universe.
Advice for Tomorrow: Never stop asking Who am I? Never stop wondering or searching. I call this Soul Hiking….How do YOU SoulHike?
P.S. It’s okay to go back to the Beginning, when necessary!
Toni from Tomorrow!